Thursday, January 20, 2011

Yes, that is a TV in my hallway

"Hello, Dr. Zazio." That will be what I say the next time I answer the door, if we don't do some serious cleaning soon. If you don't know who Dr. Zazio is, you need to go watch Hoaders immediately.  This has been in my hallway since Boxing Day when we bought a new TV:

We can't decide what to do with it so it waits patiently for us.  PHD wanted to give it away.  I didn't think anyone would take it.  I wanted to turn it into a night table with a diorama inside. He wanted to know what a diorama was.  That distracted me as we launched into a "All the weird things you don't learn growing up in Nova Scotia" discussion. Once we sorted out what a diorama was, PHD started looking at me like I was cracked, and shaking his head sadly.  The TV waited in the hall.

Lately Boy 2 has been obsessed with trying to scare me.  He is rarely successful, I think because I am always half expecting someone to jump out at me, throw something at me or  yell randomly at any moment.  One night boy 2 woke up while I was in the bathroom.  (Think 2 am, dark hallway)  He quickly recognized the excellent scare opportunity and ducked behind the TV in the hallway.  Luckily for me, I noticed him ducking down just as I came out of the bathroom so that when he jumped out at me I threw out a nonchalant, "Hey" and went to my room.  Must have been very disappointing for him.  He keeps trying though.  Give him determination points, for sure.  One night I returned the favor by ** dropping out of sight under the kitchen table and popping up when he wasn't expecting it.  He was so scared he jumped, knocked a picture off the wall and started crying.  He promptly announced he loved Dad more.  I of course felt bad and spent the rest of the night bribing him to love me again. In my defense, he started this whole "scaring is funny" thing, I am just playing along...

**as I was typing this Boy 2 crept up on me and tapped me on the shoulder.  I heard the dog coming and was ready for him.  For the record, he thinks it would be really funny if I put 'bat" in front of dropping.  I am putting that out there, you can decide if that's funny or not! 

PHD, however, has advanced scaring skills.  For example, last Friday night we went to the mall.  (Error - retreat!!) Anyway, Boy 2 wanted to get the parking ticket so PHD pulled the car up a bit farther and opened the back window.  Boy 2 leaned out the window and grabbed the ticket but instead of getting back into the car and giving the ticket to me, he leaned further out and tried to give it to PHD, outside the car.  PHD meanwhile, thinks the child is in the car and that the gate is going to close on the car if he doesn't advance immediately.  He starts driving, I start screaming, "STOP he's not in!"  He stopped the car probably a foot later, not going far enough to actually endanger the child,  just long enough to skyrocket my blood pressure.  I guess he was a little flustered, too, because after we are all settled in the car, he tried to drive into the parkade via the exit ramp.  I start screaming, again, "STOP, wrong way!".  Do you think he's toying with me?  Maybe Boy 2 is in cahoots with him and is therefore more successful, and far more advanced at scaring me than I think!  Does that sound paranoid??

Oh, Dr. Zazio, can you please come over right away??  I/we have many issues to discuss!!!

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