Thursday, January 27, 2011

Get off my lawn, Wolfdog

We have new neighbors across the street.  I am sure they are nice enough people.  The problem is they let their giant wolf dog out without a leash to poop on our lawn.  One day we pulled up in front of the house to see Wolfdog circling our front flower bed.  Suspecting his intention, I started honking the horn and yelling.  The boys started yelling.  The windows were up so all the yelling probably wasn't very effective.  We then got to watch Wolfdog do his business into my flower bed, right beside the front door. We then watched him run back to his "mom" who was waiting for him at her front door.  We approach our house.  The boys start yelling, "It's huge!  it's steaming!!"  We have a dog that is smaller than some cats so they weren't prepared for the size of the poop, I guess, or the smell. I was not prepared for the assault on my delicate nostrils, either.  I can't imagine what that beast was eating to smell like that! You may remember Boy 1 had a delicate stomach (see "Where's all my stuff" for a refresher).  I struggled to open the front door while he gagged and Boy 2 jumped up and down. I don't think that had anything to do with the poop beside the step.  I dropped the keys and had to bend down, closer to the smell, and almost passed out.  Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration but it was really bad.  By the time we got in the house I was enraged.  Who lets their dog out to poop in the neighbor's flowerbed?  Of course I take immediate action.  I phone PHD.  "The neighbor just let her dog out to take a giant steaming crap in my flower bed!!!"  The boys thought that was hilarious, "Giant steaming crap, giant steaming crap."  Set those words to the tune of the "I know you are but what am I" schoolyard taunt and you get the picture. Sensory overload - my brain can't take smell and noise polution in such a short period of time.  Damn that Wolfdog.

Anyway, PHD went over as soon as he got home and said, "Your dog took a crap in my front yard."  The lady was apologetic, immediately dug up a plastic bag and came right over.  She then blamed her landlord for not putting up a fence for her.  PHD suggested a leash.  Apparently she didn't want to invest in that either.  I have seen the dog running free a few times since then. Today the boys ran in the door gleefully announcing, "There's another steaming crap on the lawn!!"  I asked if they saw Wolfdog do it.  That started a big debate "We didn't see him but I am sure it was his because the poop was huge."  "But it wasn't really steaming anymore, so maybe it wasn't his... "  Like that dog's poop steams forever.  In no time at all we will have the most disgusting sauna in the world, right in our front yard. That's some fine detective work going on at our house! 

So, I am open to ideas.  How do I get Wolfdog to stop pooping on my lawn? I really don't care for saunas...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Chilli Powder... as mean as it sounds...burns their feet...