Tuesday, January 6, 2015

That Should Trick the Robbers

Happy New Year Friends!  

As I like to begin my year filled with hope and optimism,  and spend the second week filled with disappointment and self-loathing, I like to make a long list of generally unachievable  resolutions.  I thought I would try a smaller, simpler list for 2015:

1.  Lose weight.
2. Stop using plastic bags to show my love for the environment.
3. Be a nicer wife.
4. Be a better mom.  

Here's how that's going:  January 1, 2 and 3 I ate like all the food in the world was running out.  Then I went grocery shopping for more food and forgot my shopping bags in the car so "had" to use plastic bags.  So the first two resolutions were shot pretty quickly.

Stay with me here - remember that time we had trouble with our door so PHD removed the knob and made one out of a dishtowel?  This was weirdly similar. The December/January -30 degrees Celsius cold snap means that the front door freezes up to the point where locking it becomes impossible. For about a week we just kept the front door unlocked. (Note to robbers:  it is fixed now so we lock our door.  All the time.  And we have an alarm.  And a big mean dog.)  I was okay with leaving the house unlocked while I wasn't there because we don't have good stuff (unless you like shriveled up Christmas oranges - then we have lots of good stuff). I was, however, a bit nervous leaving the door unlocked while we were sleeping. I don't want anyone coming in and drawing a Sharpie mustache on me while I sleep. Here was PHD's solution:

Block the door with old shoes!  Maybe the robber will figure out, judging by those ugly old shoes, we are poor and have crappy stuff and will leave without trying?  PHD's reasoning was that he can never get in the door because of the kids shoes so it should work to keep robbers out.  We didn't get robbed, or wake up with a new mustache, so maybe it did work.  But I still made fun of him relentlessly because using shoes in place of a lock is ridiculous. So there goes Resolution #3.

No biggie, still one resolution left.  I will focus on being a better mom as soon as I finish this post. If I can find the children. Why is it so quiet in this house? That probably isn't good - unless they are busy eating oranges. That would be awesome. 

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