Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Let's go for a run, Redneck

Isn't the M & M store a happy looking place?  Until the MacFuddles get there.  This particular M & M store in Orlando, Florida is also the scene of one of the worst MacFuddle meltdowns in recent history.  

It started out so well.  I agreed to buy some bulk M & Ms for the boys.  The nice M & M lady  showed us the line on the bag that was a pound and I told the boys to carefully shoot for only half that, or so.  Boy 2 immediately grabbed the first handle he saw and reefed on it with all of his 60 pound, surprisingly muscled little body.  It seemed to me he would empty the whole tube of assorted M & Ms and we would have to remortgage the house to be allowed to leave the store so naturally, I needed to yell at him, "STOP!!", way too loudly.  There is a possibility I overreacted. 

So, he tried to move to the next tube and empty it into his bag and I told him he was done.  He didn't like that at all: "I still need AQUA and MINIS!!" I shrugged my shoulders which apparently is his cue to begin sprinting through the store. 

While he ran around the entire store at top speed, Boy 1 called something to him each pass, "Stop, Boy 2, you're going to get in trouble!", "Mom will get you mini M &Ms", "There's the security guard!"  I mentally cycled through my options: chase him, yell at him some more, call 911, yell at PHD, run away.  People were beginning to stare at us.

At about the fourth run-by, PHD caught the back of the little runner's shirt which stopped him in his tracks abruptly enough to make me think of the choking noise the dog makes when he pulls too hard on his leash.  By this time everyone in the store had stopped what they were doing to stare at us. 

The whole episode ended with me marching through the mall threatening to change our flights home.  No more fun for anyone, ever, etc. And I am eating all the M & Ms.

Moral of the story:  When you are the biggest rednecks in a mall in Florida, you know shit has gone off the rails.  

Also, the mini M&Ms are better.  I don't know why, they should taste the same as the big ones but they don't.  Weird, right?

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