Wall People

Do you ever have those moments when something very weird or shocking seems to be happening and then you realize it isn't?  It is usually something terrifying to you and hysterically funny to others.  For example, Boy 2 said to me the other night, "I just thought I had a toe on the side of my foot."  I looked.  He didn't have an extra toe, it just seemed that way to him for a minute.  One of my co-workers thought there was a cat in her living room for a second then she realized it was a dust bunny.  Boy 1 had that happen one night:

 

"Whoh!" is right! Or, like a few days ago, Boy 1 was in his room digging around in the mess in his closet and I happened to be beside the living room wall which backs the closet.  So, naturally, I knocked on the wall.  He came running out of his room like he was on fire.  He did this fantastic baseball slide around the corner and started down the five stairs to the living room when he looked up and saw me standing there, laughing.  He says, "Oh, thank god, I thought someone was in the wall."  See what I mean?  Terrifying if you think there is someone in the wall, hysterically funny to the other person!  Is that funny or  is that mean?  Little Column A, Little Column B?  And does this happen to anyone else or just the clowns at this house?

Finger Knitting

On Sunday the boys and I went to Costco.  I know, Costco on a rainy Sunday afternoon -  I am either stupid or insane - depends who you ask.  We had to circle the lot 41 times and say Maryann's parking prayer, "Hail Mary full of grace, help us find a parking space!"  many times.  When we finally got a space we cheered and did the wave in the car. The wave is much more fun with Mickey Mouse hands, I have to say.

The whole production reminded me of the day H1 decided to come with me to pick up the boys from the after-school program so we could all go to Costco together.  I don't know what I was thinking.  Anyway, he offered to go inside to collect the boys, probably thinking it was still like when they were little, little boys and they would come running to see you, all cute and delighted.  I opened a book and started reading in the car.  About 10 minutes later he comes out with Boy 2.  They hop in the car and start buckling up.  I say, "Where's the other one?"  After a what do you mean, isn't he here and a curse or 2, H1 heads back into the school to collect Boy 1. Ten minutes later, they get in the car.  I say, "Where were you Boy 1?"  He says, as though I haven't been paying attention and should have known, "I was finger-knitting."  Of course, that's what I should have guessed, even though I didn't know there was such a thing, or that it was something a 9 year-old boy would like.  

We carry on to Costco.  Each boy was soooo tired that they each needed a cart.  Boy 1 is being pushed by H1 through the produce cooler when he says, "Jesus Christ it's cold in here."  I couldn't believe my ears and I must have been a bit slow that day because I say, "What?" so he screams "Jesus Christ it's cold in here!"  All 312 people in the produce department stop shopping and look at the cursing kid then at the mother of the cursing kid.  I respond appropriately by laughing hysterically.  I did consider pushing my cart with the non-cursing boy away like I wasn't with the sailor mouthed boy but instead I stayed and told him, "You can't say that, Boy 1, it's a swear."  We did the whole "No, it's not!"  "Yes, it is."  for a few rounds until I say, "Fine, say it to your teacher and I will meet you in your principal's office to discuss."    

So, the point is, if anyone needs a scarf, I can have one custom finger-knitted for you, for a price...

(If you are really tall or have a really big neck, maybe we could try finger-knitting on the Mickey Mouse fingers and see how that works for you.  We'd probably charge more for that.)

London Drugs

Last night, we ran out of Advil so H1 offered to take both boys to London Drugs.  At London Drugs, he  left them in the candy aisle while he went to get the Advil.  Here's my illustration of what he returned to (excuse my limited drawing skills!):

They were chit chatting away like nothing unusual was going on.  Boy 1's story is this:  

"I went to check out the board games and when I came back Boy 2 was holding up a shelf of chocolate bars and he had one in his mouth!"  

So, Boy 1 grabs onto the shelf and settles in.  When H1 finds them this way, he  takes the shelf so they can let go, and the two boys take off.(Whew - relief - let's go look at computer games!)  Now H1 is stuck holding the shelf. I'm not sure how long he did that until he either dropped it or conned some other poor sucker into holding the shelf (you touched it last!), but I am pleased to tell you Boy 2 let me in on the secret of what I am getting for my birthday.  He says it is an iPad but I suspect it is a London Drugs shelf of damaged chocolate bars. 

Where's all my stuff??

We have a big problem keeping track of things at our house.  Always have.  In the past month we have lost:

• 4 sweaters
• 1 coat
• 2 lunch bags
• My iPod
• Boy 2's iPod
• Boy 2's DS
• Boy 1 (the whole boy, not just his stuff)
• my running friend Leanne

That's the stuff I know about.  There's probably lots more I have yet to discover.  That also doesn't count H1's wallet and keys because they get "lost" at least once a week. (I like to tell him they aren't lost, he just can't remember where they are.  That seems to irritate him.  "How is that different?!") Last winter, Boy 2 actually lost his winter coat on our front lawn overnight.  The next morning, H1 walked by it at least 3 times without noticing while I was inside screeching, "How do you lose a winter coat?  You can't go outside without it - it's too cold!  How did you get home without a coat?"

Anyway, by yesterday, as we were leaving to catch the school bus, I realize we are down to one sweater between the two boys.  That leaves Boy 2 wearing a short sleeved t-shirt with a vest.  The temperature is 0 degrees. He insists he's not cold.  I say, "Of course you aren't, you are still indoors."  He didn't care. I let him go to school that way and told them both to check lost and found and don't come home without sweaters, jackets and lunch bags.  At 3:30, Boy 2 comes home with nothing, not even Boy 1!  Where's your brother?  "Dunno - he didn't even get on the bus."  My first thought was I guess he couldn't find his stuff so just didn't come home.  After I ran around in a panicked circle for a minute, I called the school.  Apparently he missed the bus so he toddled up the sidewalk a few minutes later with one coat.  I took them both back to the school on a search and rescue mission.  We found 4 sweaters/jackets and two lunch boxes in the lost and found, or as it has also been called, the MacFuddle Closet.  I hadn't seen Boy 2's lunch bag for at least three weeks and there was a half-eaten yogurt in there.  Boy 1 has a very delicate stomach so every time he so much as looked in the direction of the lunch he would gag.  Boy 2 thought this was great fun so he chased him around for a while, pretending to eat the yogurt (gag), pretending to rub yogurt on Boy 1 (another gag), trying to put it under Boy 1's nose (big gag- almost vomit). I told them next time they lost their lunch bags I would buy them each a nice new pink one.  Boy 1 says, "I'd just lose it."  Good point.

My iPod turned up in a load of clean clothes.  It didn't like that so it is refusing to turn on or charge.  Boy 2's iPod fell out of the dryer last night.  I admit it, I said the F word.  Good thing everyone was already asleep.  His iPod still seems to still work, though.  It probably liked being clean for a change.

My running friend Leanne took a wrong turn and we all lost track of each other on our early Thursday morning run.  She turned up right away, without us even having to do much of a search and rescue mission.  Wish the DS would be that co-operative...

H1 Birthday and Superheroes

Happy Birthday H1! His birthday is actually October 14 but I am dragging out the joyous occasion as long as possible.  He was not as excited about his birthday as Boy 2 was about his own the day before.   Boy 1 didn't help matters when he sat beside dad on the couch on the morning of the big day and told him, "It sounds like there's a creaky old door inside your body."  Awesome - just what you want to hear on your birthday!

One piece of advice if you want to fit in with the young kids, H1, - cut back on the Facebook posts like this one:

this site is ridiculous . cant navigate my way around. i ended up deleting a bunch of stuff , including my friends list. sorry about . not on here much.

Don't worry H1, you haven't changed a bit since I met you.  Maybe I will call you Superman instead of H1. 

Oddly enough, as I was giggling over this post, my friend Carlene sent me this video http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7398253/.  She and her brother Bob are famous food bloggers: http://www.bsinthekitchen.com/.

Superheroes seem to be a theme at the MacFuddle house, lately.

 

S.O.S. Batman!

Friday night all three boys went to a football game giving me a whole hour to wander around Michaels and think about all the things I could make but probably won't.  H1 and Boy 2 came home at half-time because it was cold.  Boy 1 stayed at the game with friends.  I thought it might be a good night for a dip in the hot tub.  

Batman joined me.

Saturday was the usual, go for run, hang at the Farmer's Market.  I found this at the Market:

I like the shadowy picture.  It looks like spooky alien food, not just  boring old cauliflower. I made the kids try it then we went to basketball and Boy 2's birthday party.

Sunday was designated quiet day.  Boy 2 was having trouble with the concept so he got to have a timeout in his room until he was ready to try again.  Boy 1 and I did some paper quilling while we waited.  

Boy 1 was pretty pumped about that.

My first attempt at paper quilling was a flower garden. Boy 1 made me a pretty purple tulip and a moon for the flower garden. Cute, right?

Meanwhile, Boy 2 was expressing himself on the walls of his bedroom.

His printing is coming along nicely...

Spiderman turns 7 and practicing gratitude!

Happy Birthday Boy 2!  

When Boy 2 first started Kindergarten two years ago, he got a new pair of Spiderman pjs.  He wanted to wear them to daycare.  I told him he couldn't because he would be going to school in the afternoon so he needed to wear clothes.  I should have known something was up because he chirped, "Okay",  happily ran to his room, got dressed and was ready to go, without argument.  Of course, I told him how pleased I was, what a nice morning with no fighting, blah, blah, blah.   When I picked him up from daycare at the end of the day, he was wearing the spidey pjs.  I said, "Where did those come from?"  He said, "Under my clothes."  I thought, okay, that's pretty clever, way to put one over on mom, sneaking out with the pjs under the clothes.  Then I noticed something crusty in his hair.  Apparently he had taken the spiderman toothpaste from the bathroom and hidden it in his backpack.  I noticed it was missing a week or so before and just assumed it had been used up.  Anyway, the first story I got was that he got on the bus after kindergarten, took his clothes off to show off the pjs then proceeded to run up and down the bus aisle squirting the toothpaste as though it were spiderwebs.  Turns out bus drivers don't like that.  Warning 1.  The next day, when I pick up Boy 1, I find out that the pjs weren't actually under Boy 2's clothes, they were in his backpack.  That's right - he actually changed on the bus.  Kids were approaching Boy 1 all day - "Your brother was naked on the bus!!" 

I am grateful that he is an interesting and creative child.  I am also grateful that he was wearing underwear that day.

QCM Race Report - My First Marathon

Yup - won't be doing that again!   Queen City Marathon in Regina, September 12, 2010. Two of my dear running friends, Margaret and Cindy, and I, ran our first marathon.  The rest of our running group attended as our pit crew.

Here's what I liked:

• The pit crew wore funny signs and wigs to cheer us on.

• One second at the 32K mark where there was a sign that read, "This marathon just turned into a 10K".
• I can insert phrases like "That was the weekend after we ran the marathon," or,  "Well, it wasn't like when we ran the marathon, but it was a solid achievement", into pretty much any conversation.

Here's what I hated:

• Everything else.

That's right - I hated the long training runs, I hated how cranky I was the whole summer because I was so tired, I really hated that I didn't enjoy the race, at all, and I hated that once I didn't need to back down stairs anymore (about 2 days post race), I started finding bruises, blisters and chafing that I hadn't noticed to that point, in places too gross to talk about. 

When I finally finished the race with a time of 4:51:13 (No, not a typo!), I was a bit lost because there were a bunch of different people handing out medals then JOHN STANTON tapped me on the shoulder and said, "You just finished a marathon, I think you need a medal."  So he put the finisher's medal around my neck.  So, I guess I can add that to the  like list.  But then I have to cross off the one about bragging because when I said to Boy 1, "Well, I did just run a marathon", he said, "Terry Fox ran a marathon every day."
   

For now, I will stick to a reasonable distance the still respectable half marathon - 21.1K.  And I will only insert the braggy phrases into casual conversation when Boy 1 isn't around.

Our First Half Marathon AKA the day I lost Boy 2

Back in April my running group ran our first 1/2 marathon.   I didn't post a report because I didn't have a blog then.  I recently came across Boy 1's cartoon about the event.  It tells the story best:

Yup - we were all on the third floor enjoying a post-run burger and in the 15 seconds that I had my eyes off him, Boy 2 wandered off, down the elevator and climbed a pillar in front of the Bess, where he balanced until we found him. The event was sponsored by the City Police so I kept thinking, I am in a room full of cops and I can't find my kid.  I don't understand the thought, either, but it seemed almost meaningful.  We did a re-enactment recently.  Boy 2 stood on the pillar at the scene of the crime.  He is lucky he is cute.

And here is Page 2 of Boy 1's cartoon.  It seems like losing his brother wasn't that big a deal...

Family Wedding

On Saturday, we traveled to the beautiful Elbow to attend my cousin's wedding.  She looked glowy and happy and everyone had a great time.  There was only one incident where a certain 6 year old hopped on the staff golf cart and went for a short drive.  We won't mention any names, Boy 2.

My sister offered to take a family picture of our own happy little family.  Perfect!  We were all clean and dressed up, and the background couldn't be prettier.  This is how that went:

 

This will probably be our Christmas card.  I think it's the best we can do.

Biting Monkeys

Last night Boy 2 wanted me to take him to his dark bedroom to turn the light on for him.  He was trying to make out a dark shape on the floor.  I immediately recognized the shape to be dirty laundry.  I had to turn on the light for him to come to the same realization.  His breath shot out of his little body and he said, "OOh, I thought that was a little dog, or maybe a biting monkey.  Nuthin' scares me like a biting monkey..."  I love the six year old boy mind where a pair of underwear can be a biting monkey. Anything is possible.