We just returned from a lovely family vacation.  More on that later.  While we were walking to the beach, Boy 2 told me,  "Boy 1 was chewing his bacon like a camel so I called him a pig. He said if he was a pig he wouldn't be eating bacon...It took a long time then I laughed." 

As he was telling the story, he looked like this:

I laughed too.

Don't Pet That Dog

It has been a strange few days.  My favorite  part was when PHD went to pick up the kids from school on Wednesday.  I don't like to go inside the school where principals and teachers tend to grab you to just mention "one small thing" that your child has been doing, probably because you are a terrible parent. PHD's approach is to go right on in and pretend he's back in elementary school minus the ever present threat of expulsion he was under when he actually was a student.  To each his own.  It takes all kinds. He's nutty.  Whatever.  On this day, 

That Should Trick the Robbers

Happy New Year Friends!  

As I like to begin my year filled with hope and optimism,  and spend the second week filled with disappointment and self-loathing, I like to make a long list of generally unachievable  resolutions.  I thought I would try a smaller, simpler list for 2015:

Home Reno Part I, or, Totally my Fault

This post is for my friend Lana who was complaining at brunch this morning that I hadn't posted anything since May 2.  May 2!  

So, Lana, this will get very confusing for all of us but let's pretend we are time traveling so it seems fun not irritating. 

My Neck Hurts Too, Unless Yours Doesn't

Last week I mentioned that my neck was sore.  Could be meningitis or could be that I slept weird.  Each equally likely, I'd say.  The words were barely out of my mouth when PHD says, "My neck is sore too."  He proceeded to go on and on about what the pain was like, where it was, what caused it, how miserable it was making him. I told him he was making that up so that he wouldn't have to listen to my my neck story.  This caused the neck complaining to increase exponentially until I ran away and hid in another room.

Today is your what?

I have a birthday once a year. November 5. Every other year PHD remembers it. The next year he makes up for forgetting the previous year. Then he forgets that he has forgotten it, ever, and

It's Like I Am New Here

Last Wednesday Boy 2 announced that they didn't have school on Thursday or Friday. Parent Teacher Interviews, you know.  I was taken by surprise but checked his organizer which confirmed his story: